Why I Left My Old Life Behind To Save Animals

Hey guys.

I hope you're having an amazing day. Um, I wanted to answer a question that I get quite often. Gosh, it's beautiful out here.

Come on Xena! Um, I can always hear where Xena is because she's always trying to pick up the biggest rock and I hear her whining from who knows where. Come on Xena! So I wanted to answer a question that, uh, it's a little deep so here's the question. So many people will ask me, you know, how did you start?

Not like how, what did you sell first, what did you buy first, like, what was the decision that made you Take this risk. What was the decision? Because I really like some of you don't know, but the pain that I felt from taking this risk for for a long time. How? I mean, we're talking broke, broke guys, like really broke, you know?

I mean, we're talking like, I remember, and this is so sad to say, but I remember the very vivid feeling and the very vivid thought of like, I'm Not being able while being on the road for the first year by not being able to afford all my dogs. Like what would I do if I couldn't afford my dogs? And I would just build up all this stress and anxiety.

So why do that? Why put myself in that position, right? Why give up my very well paying job and ruin my relationships with the people who provided that job for me and my mentors and stuff like that. Like I really put myself in a tough spot for quite a while. And the reason I did that is this. It was the fear of death.

And I used to growing up, I remember, I don't know why this is the case, but I want to tell you a quick story. I remember when Frank Sinatra died. All right. Not a lot of people know this story, but I remember I was on my parents bed and I was watching the TV and Frank Sinatra died. And I remember like not understanding what death was.

And I remember asking my mom, like, what do you mean? Like he died. What, what does that mean? And she's like, he died. You know, that's how like he's died. Like he's not here anymore. And I said, well, where did he, where did he go? And she was like, I don't know. It depends who you ask. You know, she's like, you know, hopefully he went to heaven, but we're not sure.

And I remember that uncertainty, that answer was one of the worst experiences of my life. I was around seven years old, I think. And I remember just being like, does every, does that happen to everybody? She's like, yeah, of course. Thinking that I already knew, you know, that I've already had this talk with someone, but I hadn't.

So I was petrified, petrified. Come on guys, let's go. I was, I was like, well, what's going to happen to me? And I remember asking everybody that I met, you know, like, like an obsession. It was like, Oh, CD asking everybody, what happens? What happens? What happens? You know? And I wanted to believe, of course, like I, You know, people who very strongly believe that you go to heaven, uh, it's like, man, that must be, that must be nice.

But I always would ask, like, how do you know? And it would be not to disrespect anybody, but how do you know? And I just, I would ask a lot of questions. Let's just say that. Right. And I still do, but I had this fear and sometimes I would have to like leave class, I would be in school and I would just get up and walk out.

I would just have this anxiety about like what happens when I die or when I was going to die. And I always thought it was something people always told me that I would, outgrow it. And I never did. I still think about it sometimes, but I think about it differently now. And when I was around 28 years old, it's, I remember I was at the shelter and I, you know, I would always say goodbye to the dogs that I was gonna not see again.

And I was doing my, my videos and stuff like that. And I would, I remember just being like, this is like me. I remember thinking like, look, I'm waiting for my, My turn. These dogs are like waiting to, to go into the vet's office for the last time. I know this sounds kind of cold, but I remember for some reason I was like, you're waiting, you're waiting for your turn.

And I said, Clyde Loba. And I said, what the hell does that mean? I asked myself, it's like, you're waiting for your turn. That's why you're so afraid of death. You're waiting for your turn. And I realized. Was I, am I afraid of dying or was I actually afraid of not truly living? Not truly living was what was causing the anxiety and the pain and the fear.

Once I found my purpose, once I said, this is what I'm supposed to do. I want to inspire people to the best of my ability. I knew that. And I want to help animals again to the best of my abilities. I knew that unless I do those two things, I won't feel fulfilled. I won't feel like I'm living my life. I won't feel like I'm living my purpose, which I believe we all have one.

And that's what made me do it. It was the fear of not necessarily guys. It was the fear of not necessarily dying anymore. It was the fear. Of not living my purpose. And once I decided I wasn't just going to wait for my turn, like one of the dogs that I would care for at the shelter. Once I decided I wasn't going to just wait for my turn, my whole life changed.

And it doesn't mean it's going to be easy right from the beginning, the universe or God, whatever you believe in will test you. It's going to test you. It's always going to test you. Everything is a test. Everything. You never, You're never going to outlive or outrun the test. It's always going to be a test.

And the quicker that you understand that, and the quicker, I believe the quicker that you learn from the mistakes, your failed tests in some way, the easier life is to adapt to, right? Not necessarily gets easier, but easier to adapt to. So that was my turning point was realizing that I need to live my purpose.

To stop feeling these fears. And I got through the test. I remember I said, this is what it takes. Every time I got a test, you know, every time things got hard and I wanted to quit, this is what it takes. This is what it takes. And it is what it took. And now I continue to put myself in that situation. I continue to allow the universe to test me.

I take on bigger risks, bigger tasks, more dogs, more animals, more land, more responsibilities, more. Comes with more tests. You see? That's when I decided. I love you guys. Live your dreams. Follow your purpose. You'll see your whole world will change and most of your fears will disappear. Thanks so much. I love you.
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