A breakdown of why we moved

Saw a few people asked,, why we moved from Estacada and,, I'm sorry if I didn't address this sooner, so I wanted to make a quick video and talk about it. There is a variety of reasons why we left and the main one, which is the one that we just couldn't figure out how to solve, is we really just outgrew it.

I did so much so quickly and I don't really regret that because I have the animals that I have now because of that. But we did outgrow it, um, in just a year and a half. You know, the house was only so big, we couldn't really get any more dogs. I started to feel like if I got more dogs, although it was always cute with the videos, you know, even watching the videos sometimes, I'm like, man, there's not really, with all the dogs in the house, with all 30 at the time in the house at once, there really wasn't much room for anything else, anyone else or any other dogs.

And I just wanted to bring in more animals. I want to bring in more cats, more parrots eventually, more dogs, of course. And I just really felt like if I kept getting more animals and stayed there, it was going to be. I don't like to say, , hoarding, because I know that's kind of a, more of a, um, How would you, I'm trying to think of the polite way to say it, but usually when people are severe hoarders,, there's usually some other, you know, pretty unfortunate underlying issues.

And then working in animal rescue, and I'm sure if you're familiar with animal rescue, I can't tell you how many dogs, and cats, and rabbits, and a variety of animals, that wind up at the shelters because of hoarding situations. So of course, you know, I'd like to be somewhat of a role model in the animal rescue community as good as I can be.

And uh, having so many animals in a small house or a smaller environment, I just didn't think really represented the Asher house in the best way. And that includes farm animals. You know, my team, you know, kind of made me promise that I wouldn't get. More cows, more pigs, more goats. And for me, I was like, what, what was the point of getting a sanctuary?

So it was really hard for me to digest that and there really wasn't a way, a solution. The solution was to, to go bigger, to get a bigger place. So we went from 25 acres to 240 acres and I promise I'm gonna give you guys a tour pretty soon. So that's the first reason. We, we, we really just outgrew it. We were really secluded.

Like, we were too secluded to where I didn't feel like it was all that safe for the animals. If there was an emergency, which there was sometimes, and not that being closer would have made a difference, but You never really know, you know, just to get to not just the local market for this and that, but to get to like an actual grocery store was about 30 minutes.

Uh, the, our veterinarian was over an hour away. To hire someone, to hire anyone, to an electrician, a plumber, to have a vet come out, anything, it would always take forever. It would take so long to get the help that we needed, to get employees to help us. It was just, uh, a mission of its own to get people to come to the sanctuary to help us.

We were really out in the middle of nowhere. It was out there enough to where it was really difficult to get the help and the support that we needed, especially in a timely matter. Um, and that, that started to become a big issue. You know, the, the lack of service, we had no service. We had awful Wi Fi. I could never do.

Uh, an Instagram live from my house. I always have to drive into town, which would always take me 15, 20 minutes. The other reason is, is that I, I, I started, you know, I don't know how to say it, um, eloquently, but the truth is, is that I started to feel a lot of pain there. I know I'm going to experience a lot of loss here as well, uh, and anywhere we go and when you're in animal rescue, um, you're going to experience a lot of loss, but it was really hard for me.

With losing Sammy, and Stubbs, and, and, and really I, I, the truth is all of them, excuse me, it was, it was really hard for me, especially in a smaller house, like just having so many visuals, you know, this is where this dog passed away, this is where this animal passed away, it was just, It was really hard for me, and, uh, I worked really hard on kind of trying to shift my mindset.

But, I'm such a visual person, and it, it just, I just found myself often being quite sad. And I, I just want to reiterate, the main reason, um, I decided for us to move was, was really the space. So, if we would have had the space, I think I, I, I would have eventually overcome, overcame the second issue, which was the pain that I felt.

You know, that's something that we have to work on and, and work through, um, which I'm still doing, you know, I'm new place, still dealing with that pain and, um, I, I was just inesticated to visit the farm animals and, you know, that pain came back. But, you know, it's really important to do your best if you can, if you are able to change your environment, if there's a certain environment that's triggering some sort of pain for you.

If you have the ability to change it, you know, luckily, I didn't have anything really keeping me there, except for the animals. And, I'm a big believer in, if you, if your gut is telling you to do something, and it's not just your gut, but it's also your heart, and your instincts are telling you to do something, and you have nothing to lose, Well, some people may think that I had everything to lose.

You know, my team was very, was, they were quite cautious about this, this move. But I felt in my core that this was the right decision for not just me, but for the animals. And um, I was right, you know, I'm really, I'm lucky that I was right about that. But that's, that's that. So it was really a long list of things, but the biggest reason why I wanted to move, the biggest reason was the space.

Um, if there was, if everything else was perfect, if we were right by everything that we needed, if, um, I didn't have to deal with some, frankly, some traumatic events that happened. I, I think that I still would have decided to move solely because I think it was, I know it was too early in our mission, um, to have kind of had a cap to say, we can't rescue any more dogs.

We can't rescue any more pigs or farm animals or anything like that. And I would have decided to move. But, I do want to say, um, you know, Estacada treated us really good, and I'm really grateful for the people that we met there. I'm grateful for just the whole experience. Um, the thing is, it was a difficult one, you know?

It was a difficult experience. Going into it, I was a bit naive, you know? I was really, I was really excited, and I, I didn't know. The road ahead of me looking back at it. Um, you know, I remember having a few people in animal rescue come to visit me and they loved how, you know, optimistic I was, how much energy I had about animal rescue and, and, and, uh, the sanctuary and all of my ideas and stuff like that.

And I remember them being so impressed, but I remember someone saying, you know, you're really new to this. I'd love to see if you're still like this in a couple of years. And at the time, I think I was almost offended, but looking back at it, I do realize, uh, what this woman meant, because you, you, you go through some hard times, and, uh, you're, you'd almost be insane not to question if, if it's the right path for you, you know?

And, um, I never saw myself questioning that so much in my career, especially so early on. But I, uh, I stuck with it and we didn't only stick with it. We decided to make it even more difficult and go, uh, you know, 10 times, literally 10 times the acreage, uh, 10 times the house, 10 times the responsibility. So, um, and that right penny, is that right?

Pen pans? Yeah, right. My little penny pens. You love it here now, huh? You just love it. You love it. Yes, you do. You love it. She just loves it. Um, But, you know, I will say, one of the hardest things about leaving that sanctuary was my happy place, and my happy place there was the river. And I'll never forget, you know, when I was deciding, you guys don't know this story, but when I was contemplating if I should leave, it was that river where I would swim and take the dogs every day.

It was that river that would make me feel like I shouldn't. And, uh, that river was my river. It felt like it was for not just mine, but the dogs, it was our place. And I remember being down there and I was walking the dogs down there one day and the dogs started going crazy. They started barking and they, they went down there and there was people there.

And I was like, Oh, I wasn't expecting anyone to be here. I thought maybe they were trespassing. And they had told me that they just moved, you know, right across the street and it was their river too. And they had a tent. When I saw that tent, and I saw these kids there, I felt like I had lost something very special to me.

And I really felt like that was my answer, that was the universe, that was God, that was whatever it is that you think speaks to you. That was that voice that said, it's time for you to go. And, uh, because then, at that point, there was nothing else keeping me there. Once, once that river didn't just belong to the dogs and myself anymore, Um, that was the answer that I needed.

It was time to leave. And, um, I put my, my heart and my soul into finding something that I loved, uh, just as much or more. And I'm really, really beyond, beyond grateful to tell you guys that I found that place. And the place that I found is the type of place where I can actually share with you one day. Um, it's going to be a, a beautiful journey to get it to where it needs to before we can start having tours and stuff like that.

Um, but I can tell you that that that's going to happen one day. And at that place, it could never have happened because I had no privacy pulling up to, you know, to the sanctuary. My home was right there in Estacada. And I, I felt at times, you know, some really unfortunate things happen where, you know, my privacy was violated.

And I, I, I wasn't comfortable there anymore. And once I lost the privacy of having the river, there was really nothing else, you know, keeping me there. And although I do love it, and it's such a beautiful, beautiful, special place, um, it just no longer felt like home. And, uh, yeah. There's a part of me, as I say this to you, I do feel a little bit guilty, because I have so much love for that place, and I remember how I felt the first time I saw it.

The thing is, is that I did do what I said I would do there, you know, and, uh, I am proud of that. I wish I did a lot of things differently. I wish I, I, I wish I did a lot of things differently and, uh, I'll tell you what those things are. One day I think this video is already long enough, so I, I'm, I'm, I'm happy to, I don't know if happy that might be exaggerated, but I'm, I'm, I feel good about, you know, sharing my mistakes with you a so that, you know, I'm human and I make.

Way more mistakes than I do as far as making good decisions. I just don't repeat those mistakes. And I also want to share my mistakes with you. So, you know, you guys don't make them, but I made a lot of mistakes there and, um, I, unfortunately, you know, it's never good to regret, but I regret a lot of the decisions that I made there.

And this is a new chapter for the animals. It's a new chapter for me. And I, I'm very, very, very happy to be here. I'm very, very happy to. continue on, you know, what I, what I did there to continue it on here, but at such a bigger level on such a bigger scale. And I really think that you guys are going to be so thrilled and so proud and so happy to see what we do here.

If you were at all, excuse me, if you were at all impressed with what, uh, with what the Asher house did in Estacada in just, you know, less than a year and a half, Um, then I assure you, those feelings will quadruple with what you, when you see what we do here. Um, it's been such a, it's been such a journey. I, I can't put it into words.

Reflecting back on, I remember the first time I saw that place and, you know, what it meant to me. And I, I didn't realize it was just the first step of, of, you know, what our actual sanctuary would, would be like, so. I am grateful for every second that happened there. I learned a lot, you know, I wish a lot didn't happen.

But, I, I don't think, I can't help but think, it wouldn't have brought me to where I am today, which is here, which is really where we're supposed to be. You know, there's no, there's no excuses here. Like, what we can do here is, uh, is just so beautiful. And I can't wait to show you literally every step of the way.

Because, the truth is, is that none of this would, would even be possible without you guys. You know, none of it would be possible without the people who want it to happen, nor would it be possible without the people who don't want it to happen. Because those are the people who get us back in line, and, and, you know, make sure we're doing everything right.

So I'm grateful for really everybody, both the, the, the, the, The optimistics and the pessimistics along the journey have truly led me to where we are today. And I could say without hesitation, although I've made a lot of mistakes, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world, guys. There is nowhere else I'd want my animals to be and there's nowhere else I would want to be to continue this mission.

Really. So, thank you, and uh, to everyone in Estacada who helped us, I just want to say again, thank you, uh, deeply, um, and also thank you for putting up with me, um, cause I know that, um, I went into it all just completely blind, and I, I really learned so much from so many people, um, and it really means a lot to me, so thank you all.

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