Let's make it okay to discuss our struggles and ask for help

Hey everyone, I hope you're having a beautiful day. I was looking through some of the comments on a recent video and someone stated, someone wrote, saying this is the perfect video for during Mental Health Awareness Month, expressing their gratitude for it. And I, quite frankly, I didn't know that it was Mental Health Awareness Month.

And um, you know, mental health, which I'm very happy about is something that's discussed quite a bit these days. Not so common back in the day. Further back, you, further back in the day you go, the less common mental health was, uh, Lily, Lily is very passionate. Lily is very, very, very, very passionate about mental health awareness month.

But I did want to make a quick video and Lily wanted to get involved as well because, you know, What video, what kind of video would it be, especially about mental health, if it's not for Lily? If we don't get to have Lily's opinions, huh? Hopefully you're still with me. In many of the comments, I would say the majority of the comments, I see people saying, I want your life, and I wish I had your life, and things like that.

And when I see these things, I feel a little bit guilty, because I think to myself, man, you must really not know what my life is about, and what I deal with. And, and I'm not complaining, because I'm genuinely so grateful for the responsibility of what I do. I, I know that I can handle it. There are many times where I feel like I can't, but I know the truth, which, you know, this, I have no doubt about it, that this life that I'm doing, I feel in many ways was destined for me and all of the obstacles that I have faced in my life and the tragedies and everything like that has, has, was happened for me and not to me in order for me to do this.

I think a life worth a life worth living is a life about serving. And, um, as painful as it can be, sometimes I want you to know that I'm extremely grateful for this platform, for this opportunity. And the responsibility to, to at least do my best to make a difference in animal rescue in people. But it comes with a great price and it comes with a lot of suffering.

And when you see someone walking in, when you see someone walking in this field, you know, walking in this field with 50 dogs and you see that I'm laughing and I'm smiling, you don't see the times where I'm walking in the field and I've got, you know, so much pain or so much anger. Inside of me that I, I feel sometimes like at those moments that they're never going to go away, that that pain that I'm feeling at that moment is forever.

And it's really scary. Cause then you, you, you start to like not be able to breathe. You know, it's, you gotta tell yourself this isn't, you know, you're feeling this way or it's anger or it's worry. And oftentimes, you know, a big part of the things that really scare me are the things that are truly out of my control.

Like, you know, we have about 32 people that work for the Asher house at this moment. We have well over 50 dogs. And you have to think about the fact that no matter what happens, and besides the 32 employees, just, you know, the amount of people that are just contracted to build the fencing and, and the structures and the barn.

I mean, it's, it's, it's crazy. And anything that goes wrong, even if I'm not there and there was nothing I could do about it, I'm responsible for it's my name on the desk. And, you know, it's, it, it, it's, it, it can be quite overwhelming to think that I could have people, you know, you, I could have so many people trust me, but if something can go wrong, you know, a disaster can happen that, that was on my land and I'm responsible for these things freak me out, you know, then all of a sudden, like these things are scary.

And I also think about, I think about, you know, the decision I made to love so many things. Uh, so, to, to, not things, to love, what I mean is to love so many animals, right? To where I wish I loved things. You know, there's not a material thing in the world, not a car, there, I can't think of one material thing that I have any love for.

There is nothing that I have that if a friend of mine who I loved or a family member that I loved, there is nothing that I have. If they told me, I mean, I love this, I love the shoe, I love this shirt, I love this watch. It would be theirs. They could have it. But of course my animals are my, my, my life on such a deep, crazy, beautiful, insane level.

And I walk these fields and I think about the ones that, that aren't here anymore, that I loved just as much as I love the ones that are here, that one day I will, I will be walking the field with different ones. And all of the ones that are here, if I outlive them, well, it will be a completely different pack.

And it's just terribly sad. You know, like it's it's beautiful what you get to see in these videos, but to do it to do it you have to It not I was going to say special person. It's not a special person Someone who is willing to go through that much agony You have to ask, is that not special? Is that person that smart to put yourself through that, you know, guaranteed trauma, you know, and not all loss is trauma, but of course there's trauma, you know, in this type of, and when you're in, whether you're at the bottom of animal rescue, just getting started, any involvement you see, if you're a part of it, it's, it is traumatic and the amount of loss and then the amount of negativity and the hate.

You know, for reasons you just are, and you, it's, it's a lot. This video is a lot. I'm, I'm genuinely curious what's gonna be edited out, or if we're, we're just rolling with it, you know? But, whatever, whatever it is, you know, the older I get, I realize, I've, I've met so many people, and everyone has really got their stuff.

We've all got our stuff.

We've all, we've, we all have got stuff and are going to have more. And, and, and life, life is hard, you know, and you, that you hear all these terrible stories and you see the dogs go through the worst of the worst and are still able to wag their tails. But some people never, you know, some people never able to get through it and never work on it.

Never, never, never focus on growth. I, I, I, uh, I'm in therapy. And every time before I go to therapy, I had therapy today. Every time before I go to therapy, I think to myself, I'm going to cancel therapy because I don't need it anymore. And I'm way too busy. I don't have the time. And I I'm not really seeing that big of a difference.

And I always say I have nothing to talk about. I, it's, it's like a habit. I don't, I really think I've, I have nothing to talk about. And I know I said this last time I say to myself, but this time it's like, it's you're I'm over it. And I sit in that chair, I sit in that couch, And she says, what would you like to talk about today or something like that?

And I'm like, I'm not really sure, you know, and I just, I get a little bit angry and I think about things I can say to get out, you know, I got my phone next to me and within a few minutes I realized that I don't even have enough time. There's, my session is over. There's not enough time to talk about everything that I needed to talk about.

And I, I talk about just things, you know, I, My childhood, things that I don't like talking about my childhood, my experiences with school and, and, and witnessing, you know, just, just an insanely unhealthy marriage. I talk about all these things and then I, I just beg to be better. I beg this person who's probably sitting there like, you know, what the hell?

I just want to be a better man. I want to be a better person. You know, I want to be responsive and not reactive. You know, and it's always the same, like you're doing it, you're, you're exercising, you're eating right, you're cold plunging, you're this, you're that, but it's not enough for me, you know, and I tell you, as you can probably tell from this video, Mental Health Awareness Month isn't for people who suffer from mental health issues.

Respectfully, Mental Health Awareness Month is for everyone, and it shouldn't be a month long, it shouldn't be a one month, it should be something That every single person in their, in the, in the world, I wish, right, what a, hopefully that's where we go to a place where people want to improve themselves.

Every single person should be working on their mental health. The people who don't think they should be working on their mental health are truly, I say this with love, the people who don't think they need to work on their mental health really, really need the work. really need to work. It's not mental health awareness month every day.

Awareness alone of what you need to be better. If you can't be aware of where you need to improve in your life, if you can't be aware of how you could be a better human being or how you can be a better, a better human being, yeah, you need the help. You need it. And that's okay. Because you look at me with, this beautiful land and these beautiful dogs and not a day goes by that I don't look in the mirror and I say, man, you need to be better today.

You need, you need to, you need to get even better. You know, people always say you can't be perfect. I hear that all the time. You can't, you can't be, nobody's perfect is what they say. And I say, no, but you can try, right? You can, you can, you can try to be as perfect as you can be. And, um, yeah, so

work on yourself, especially if you think you don't need to work on yourself and, and be, be good to be good to people. You know, a lot, a lot of animal lovers think that it's okay to just be kind to animals and not to people. I gotta tell you, man, that's not how it works. That is not how it works. Alright, I love ya.

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