How I Deal With Conflict In My Pack
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I just witnessed something in my pack and I thought it was a good opportunity to, uh, hopefully influence someone or teach some sort of lesson if I can or, uh, maybe you're just interested in knowing. So I find it very important to express to you and very important for people, sorry I'm trying to find my words here, with the lack of sleep this is, ah, it's not easy, for you to have the confidence in your dogs to see.
And allow what they can figure out themselves. And granted, this is the first time I'm explaining this. So, uh, give me some leeway here if I don't do such a good job, but I think by the end of it, you'll get what I'm saying. So, I often see people and, and this doesn't, in my opinion, doesn't pertain to dog parks unless you're, unless you go to the same dog park frequently and you see the same dogs there frequently, then this does pertain to dog parks.
But other than that, this is within your own pack. When you have any, in my opinion, a pack is more than two dogs. Once you have three, four or five, you have that solid pack, even two, depending on the personalities of the dogs and yourself. Um, But I want to share with you how often I see my dogs. Where I see my dogs kind of, like, for example, a lot of people ask me if my dogs get into fights, right?
Well, what I see, it's not fights, but I see my dogs really, like, show their teeth. They communicate strongly what their boundaries are. And what influenced that just now was Loba and Clyde. Clyde! Come on, Clyde! That's Clyde, and he's looking for Loba right now. Loba! And she's probably, she's right here. Come on Loba!
And you're gonna see Clyde kinda, see, follow her and go where she goes. Now, what's interesting is Loba is looking for Copper. So Clyde is looking for loba, loba is looking for copper. Clyde annoys the hell out of loba, and loba annoys the hell out of copper. Now what I just witnessed is this, loba and Clyde, loba is, will go crazy on Clyde.
You know, get away from me and, and, and dog language, right? Get, leave me alone. I want space. Get away from me. And Clyde being the annoying older brother, who just wants to play with his baby sister. He's like, no, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to hang out with you. So Loba, she, her not aggression. Cause I feel like that's a little bit too strong of a word, but she will take that as far as she needs to.
Until Clyde gets the message and listens, not just gets the message, but obeys the message, obeys the order. Now, what's the point I'm trying to make here? As a, a good parent to a pack, again, this is for a pack, as a responsible and good parent to a pack, you have one or two choices to make in that situation.
One or two choices. One, right? I guess you have three and you have three choices. The first one is the wrong one, no matter what. Now I'm thinking you have four choices. I'm sorry. And I'm just being very technical here. You have four choices. And the first two are wrong. One is to do nothing about it. That's wrong.
If you just completely ignore it, that's wrong. The second thing which is wrong is to stop it immediately. And that's the key point that I'm trying to tell you. I know this was a long intro, and again, not a lot of sleep, but the key point that I want to tell you here is this. To stop something before you actually know what's going on, before the dogs really even know what's going on, Is the wrong decision and you see that all the time all the time a dog will communicate with another dog Show its teeth a little or do anything and immediately you hear the dog You hear the owner max loba.
Don't don't don't hey. Hey, hey And it's almost as if you are the one who's creating now this toxicity, right? This toxic environment that, that didn't exist. It was just communication and dog form that we were so afraid. It's the fear that ignites the possibilities that can actually bring the fear in, if that makes sense.
What I mean by that is, is we, what we fear it hasn't happened. We only fear the possibility of what could happen. And of course, if we've experienced it happen. We're extra fearful, but what what you're just witnessing that you all of a sudden are afraid is gonna turn into fight The fight didn't happen So our energy can sometimes and you can apply this to anywhere is is actually what's causing the issue The fear of it is what's causing the issue, right?
You ever you like in a relationship, right? One person is insecure of the other one cheating Right? The other one isn't cheating. I, are you cheating? I don't know. Right? You cheat. They get insecure. You cheat. It's like, no, that is what will end the relationship. That lack of trust, the fear, right? Is what can end the relationship.
So the fear that you have of what could happen and all these different things can sometimes spark the reaction that you so badly don't want. So those are the first two things that you don't want to do. Now, let me just take a quick break to look at everybody. Hello, hello. Okay. Now, now it brings you to the two options that you, that you can choose, that you should choose to make.
Option number one is defend Loba. Defend the one that is asking for the boundary, right? Just like I, just like I would defend Copper if Loba didn't stop annoying. Now Penny's asking for boundaries. You're going to see Penny react. But look, the fact that she comes to me now, she doesn't want my help. But if she came to me and said, dad, pick me up, I would pick her up.
She would want my help. So I have a choice to make. I let the dog, right? I always defend the dog that is asking for the space. I defend the dog that is asking for the boundary. If I'm going to do that, Now, I don't prefer that option. What I prefer is the next option, which for me works very well. It requires a lot of trust within yourself and within your pack and a lot of patience.
But what it does is, it long term, long term, it creates a, a, such a stronger bond. And what it does long term is the dogs realize that you speak their language. She's trying, she's, she's upset because the rock is too, too heavy. She picks up rocks and then she gets mad that she picked up too heavy of a rock.
So, so what was I saying? What was I saying?
So, you defen I defend, sorry guys, I'm trying to collect my thoughts here. I defend the dog. That is asking for their boundaries, but that this is what I was saying the next option Which is the best option that it the dogs all of a sudden were are like wow They he is a dog or she is a dog. She speaks our language.
You know, it's this is amazing is When you are aware you're paying attention, but you let them sort it out. And what do I mean by that is? You only get involved when you know it's about to be something. When at the last second, right, and you, you get to this, you get to that point where you can wait. Lily, Lily, Lily, don't eat the mud.
Come on, guys. Lily. You get to that point, right, it takes time where you feel safe enough to get to that point. Where, like, where I'm at now, as I talk to you, I just have to listen. I, I hear the different growls and the different type of pants and I can, I can, without looking, I know which dog is where. I, and don't forget, like, I don't do this to sound like an expert or like, look at me, you know, I'm, I do this because, uh, uh, I tell you this, I tell you this, I've, I've been doing it for a long time.
Right? I'm, I, I, but, and I didn't start with this many dogs, so it has taken time for me to really be able to just enjoy my walks without feeling like I'm so on edge, but going back to the allowing them to work it out. The reason why that's so important, the reason why it's so important to allow the dog to work it out.
One second. Copper! Let's go! Come on, Capper! Good boy. Um, the reason why it's so important to let the dog work it out is because you want to let the dog know, the, the dog that is asking for the boundary, that dog has to be able to defend himself if you're not there. If you're not there, You want to be able to see that your dogs, the other dogs respect that dog.
It doesn't have to do with size. It has to do with their energy. Loba is much smaller than Clyde and it does take him some time, but I know eventually Loba is really going to be like, all right, that's it back off. I'm going to bite you in the and Clyde will say, okay, fine. And he'll wait, you know, 20, 30 minutes.
Come on guys. 20, 30 minutes before he does it again. So, it's so important for the well being of the dogs to, to prevent arguments, to prevent fights. You allow them, you don't get involved, and you allow them to work it out themselves up until you have to. But what you can do, if you don't feel comfortable doing that, is go back to the previous option, and what I could do here is I could leash Clyde.
I could put Clyde on a leash, and every time he doesn't listen to Loba Every time Loba says, hey, back off and sets a boundary and he doesn't listen, I leash him. And then eventually he's gonna put the two and two together just like how we would if Loba, you know, gives him a certain look or makes a certain noise.
He's gonna say, okay, she's really not in the mood to play, right? So that's what I wanted to share with you. I apologize for the length of the the video, but I kind of really really wanted you to get it. Is that part of the reason that I'm able to. Go where to go on such a long walk. So many dogs, no leash is the trust and the bond and all that for sure.
But also is that I can hear when and if I need to step in at all. I don't stop them from communicating, right? Don't interrupt the conversation, trust your dog, excuse me. And then eventually, you know, if you're in a situation where you don't trust your dog, right? It I'm not saying that. No matter what your dog does to trust him or her.
I didn't say that. If the dog earns the trust, give it to them, right? If they break the trust, then make them earn it back gradually. Don't, don't hold on to it forever. And, and I know that takes work and a lot of time and a lot of trust and patience. And of course the ability to find people who are okay with you training with their dogs or a muzzle or whatever it is that you have to do to gain that trust back.
But trust is a constant. Work. It's constantly being, not work as in like it takes, uh, so much effort on your part. It just, the, the, the trust grows every day. Right? You, you think you can't trust someone as much as you do, you trust them with everything, but the next day you're going to trust them even more because they just, they just earned that respect.
They earn that trust even more. And that's how it should be with your dogs. All right. Let them be dogs. Let them live. Let, let them communicate. Right. And only interfere when you really feel it's necessary. I love you guys. Have a beautiful day. Have a beautiful week. Thanks for listening. If you, if you did listen and watch, thank you.
And if you didn't. Then you're not watching this part anyway. See you later. Bye. Come on guys.
This, this sound almost makes me more nervous than any sound. And it's this, the guys, we had a little bit of a storm. So there's, I'm tripping over every single branch. Um, don't worry. I haven't been drinking. It's just like seven o'clock in the morning. Just one, just kidding. Um, but yeah, this, the sound of complete silence, you see, listen,
not, not even a panther. Clyde, Loba, let's go! They went that way, down there.
Good boy! That's a good boy!
Yeah, it's the, uh, the silence. Then I don't know where they're at. When I hear all the sounds, it's, it's more relaxing. So anyways, guys, again, I love you. Have a beautiful day and, uh, thanks for watching.
And allow what they can figure out themselves. And granted, this is the first time I'm explaining this. So, uh, give me some leeway here if I don't do such a good job, but I think by the end of it, you'll get what I'm saying. So, I often see people and, and this doesn't, in my opinion, doesn't pertain to dog parks unless you're, unless you go to the same dog park frequently and you see the same dogs there frequently, then this does pertain to dog parks.
But other than that, this is within your own pack. When you have any, in my opinion, a pack is more than two dogs. Once you have three, four or five, you have that solid pack, even two, depending on the personalities of the dogs and yourself. Um, But I want to share with you how often I see my dogs. Where I see my dogs kind of, like, for example, a lot of people ask me if my dogs get into fights, right?
Well, what I see, it's not fights, but I see my dogs really, like, show their teeth. They communicate strongly what their boundaries are. And what influenced that just now was Loba and Clyde. Clyde! Come on, Clyde! That's Clyde, and he's looking for Loba right now. Loba! And she's probably, she's right here. Come on Loba!
And you're gonna see Clyde kinda, see, follow her and go where she goes. Now, what's interesting is Loba is looking for Copper. So Clyde is looking for loba, loba is looking for copper. Clyde annoys the hell out of loba, and loba annoys the hell out of copper. Now what I just witnessed is this, loba and Clyde, loba is, will go crazy on Clyde.
You know, get away from me and, and, and dog language, right? Get, leave me alone. I want space. Get away from me. And Clyde being the annoying older brother, who just wants to play with his baby sister. He's like, no, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to hang out with you. So Loba, she, her not aggression. Cause I feel like that's a little bit too strong of a word, but she will take that as far as she needs to.
Until Clyde gets the message and listens, not just gets the message, but obeys the message, obeys the order. Now, what's the point I'm trying to make here? As a, a good parent to a pack, again, this is for a pack, as a responsible and good parent to a pack, you have one or two choices to make in that situation.
One or two choices. One, right? I guess you have three and you have three choices. The first one is the wrong one, no matter what. Now I'm thinking you have four choices. I'm sorry. And I'm just being very technical here. You have four choices. And the first two are wrong. One is to do nothing about it. That's wrong.
If you just completely ignore it, that's wrong. The second thing which is wrong is to stop it immediately. And that's the key point that I'm trying to tell you. I know this was a long intro, and again, not a lot of sleep, but the key point that I want to tell you here is this. To stop something before you actually know what's going on, before the dogs really even know what's going on, Is the wrong decision and you see that all the time all the time a dog will communicate with another dog Show its teeth a little or do anything and immediately you hear the dog You hear the owner max loba.
Don't don't don't hey. Hey, hey And it's almost as if you are the one who's creating now this toxicity, right? This toxic environment that, that didn't exist. It was just communication and dog form that we were so afraid. It's the fear that ignites the possibilities that can actually bring the fear in, if that makes sense.
What I mean by that is, is we, what we fear it hasn't happened. We only fear the possibility of what could happen. And of course, if we've experienced it happen. We're extra fearful, but what what you're just witnessing that you all of a sudden are afraid is gonna turn into fight The fight didn't happen So our energy can sometimes and you can apply this to anywhere is is actually what's causing the issue The fear of it is what's causing the issue, right?
You ever you like in a relationship, right? One person is insecure of the other one cheating Right? The other one isn't cheating. I, are you cheating? I don't know. Right? You cheat. They get insecure. You cheat. It's like, no, that is what will end the relationship. That lack of trust, the fear, right? Is what can end the relationship.
So the fear that you have of what could happen and all these different things can sometimes spark the reaction that you so badly don't want. So those are the first two things that you don't want to do. Now, let me just take a quick break to look at everybody. Hello, hello. Okay. Now, now it brings you to the two options that you, that you can choose, that you should choose to make.
Option number one is defend Loba. Defend the one that is asking for the boundary, right? Just like I, just like I would defend Copper if Loba didn't stop annoying. Now Penny's asking for boundaries. You're going to see Penny react. But look, the fact that she comes to me now, she doesn't want my help. But if she came to me and said, dad, pick me up, I would pick her up.
She would want my help. So I have a choice to make. I let the dog, right? I always defend the dog that is asking for the space. I defend the dog that is asking for the boundary. If I'm going to do that, Now, I don't prefer that option. What I prefer is the next option, which for me works very well. It requires a lot of trust within yourself and within your pack and a lot of patience.
But what it does is, it long term, long term, it creates a, a, such a stronger bond. And what it does long term is the dogs realize that you speak their language. She's trying, she's, she's upset because the rock is too, too heavy. She picks up rocks and then she gets mad that she picked up too heavy of a rock.
So, so what was I saying? What was I saying?
So, you defen I defend, sorry guys, I'm trying to collect my thoughts here. I defend the dog. That is asking for their boundaries, but that this is what I was saying the next option Which is the best option that it the dogs all of a sudden were are like wow They he is a dog or she is a dog. She speaks our language.
You know, it's this is amazing is When you are aware you're paying attention, but you let them sort it out. And what do I mean by that is? You only get involved when you know it's about to be something. When at the last second, right, and you, you get to this, you get to that point where you can wait. Lily, Lily, Lily, don't eat the mud.
Come on, guys. Lily. You get to that point, right, it takes time where you feel safe enough to get to that point. Where, like, where I'm at now, as I talk to you, I just have to listen. I, I hear the different growls and the different type of pants and I can, I can, without looking, I know which dog is where. I, and don't forget, like, I don't do this to sound like an expert or like, look at me, you know, I'm, I do this because, uh, uh, I tell you this, I tell you this, I've, I've been doing it for a long time.
Right? I'm, I, I, but, and I didn't start with this many dogs, so it has taken time for me to really be able to just enjoy my walks without feeling like I'm so on edge, but going back to the allowing them to work it out. The reason why that's so important, the reason why it's so important to allow the dog to work it out.
One second. Copper! Let's go! Come on, Capper! Good boy. Um, the reason why it's so important to let the dog work it out is because you want to let the dog know, the, the dog that is asking for the boundary, that dog has to be able to defend himself if you're not there. If you're not there, You want to be able to see that your dogs, the other dogs respect that dog.
It doesn't have to do with size. It has to do with their energy. Loba is much smaller than Clyde and it does take him some time, but I know eventually Loba is really going to be like, all right, that's it back off. I'm going to bite you in the and Clyde will say, okay, fine. And he'll wait, you know, 20, 30 minutes.
Come on guys. 20, 30 minutes before he does it again. So, it's so important for the well being of the dogs to, to prevent arguments, to prevent fights. You allow them, you don't get involved, and you allow them to work it out themselves up until you have to. But what you can do, if you don't feel comfortable doing that, is go back to the previous option, and what I could do here is I could leash Clyde.
I could put Clyde on a leash, and every time he doesn't listen to Loba Every time Loba says, hey, back off and sets a boundary and he doesn't listen, I leash him. And then eventually he's gonna put the two and two together just like how we would if Loba, you know, gives him a certain look or makes a certain noise.
He's gonna say, okay, she's really not in the mood to play, right? So that's what I wanted to share with you. I apologize for the length of the the video, but I kind of really really wanted you to get it. Is that part of the reason that I'm able to. Go where to go on such a long walk. So many dogs, no leash is the trust and the bond and all that for sure.
But also is that I can hear when and if I need to step in at all. I don't stop them from communicating, right? Don't interrupt the conversation, trust your dog, excuse me. And then eventually, you know, if you're in a situation where you don't trust your dog, right? It I'm not saying that. No matter what your dog does to trust him or her.
I didn't say that. If the dog earns the trust, give it to them, right? If they break the trust, then make them earn it back gradually. Don't, don't hold on to it forever. And, and I know that takes work and a lot of time and a lot of trust and patience. And of course the ability to find people who are okay with you training with their dogs or a muzzle or whatever it is that you have to do to gain that trust back.
But trust is a constant. Work. It's constantly being, not work as in like it takes, uh, so much effort on your part. It just, the, the, the trust grows every day. Right? You, you think you can't trust someone as much as you do, you trust them with everything, but the next day you're going to trust them even more because they just, they just earned that respect.
They earn that trust even more. And that's how it should be with your dogs. All right. Let them be dogs. Let them live. Let, let them communicate. Right. And only interfere when you really feel it's necessary. I love you guys. Have a beautiful day. Have a beautiful week. Thanks for listening. If you, if you did listen and watch, thank you.
And if you didn't. Then you're not watching this part anyway. See you later. Bye. Come on guys.
This, this sound almost makes me more nervous than any sound. And it's this, the guys, we had a little bit of a storm. So there's, I'm tripping over every single branch. Um, don't worry. I haven't been drinking. It's just like seven o'clock in the morning. Just one, just kidding. Um, but yeah, this, the sound of complete silence, you see, listen,
not, not even a panther. Clyde, Loba, let's go! They went that way, down there.
Good boy! That's a good boy!
Yeah, it's the, uh, the silence. Then I don't know where they're at. When I hear all the sounds, it's, it's more relaxing. So anyways, guys, again, I love you. Have a beautiful day and, uh, thanks for watching.